Welcome to Hell

Welcome to hell. Please take a number. Her Evilness will be with you when she damn well feels like it.

Who the Fuck is Satan???

 who the Fuck is Satan?
  WHY is Satan going to Sing-Sing, oh prison of notorious repute?

these questions at least, i can answer.

I am Satan.
(not to be confused with the devil, that's another bugger entirely.)

you can blame me being known as Satan on the brother of this guy i used to date a million years ago - the brother, who was commonly known as B.J., hated my guts.
(i know, i have no idea why any sentient being would willingly be called B.J., male or female. i'm sure he was a William John or some shit, but STILL.)

anywho, this B.J. fellow really, really hated the fact that i was dating his brother. i still don't know why. but one day i got a phone call at his brother's house, B.J. answered, and turned around, fixed me with the EVIL LOOK OF DOOM and said, and i quote,
"phone for you.....SSSSSAAATAAANNNN," with the most evil hissing voice i have ever heard.

the nickname, to put it mildly, stuck.
so, i am Satan. i'm a red-head.
the reputation is not exactly unfounded.

second question: Sing-Sing?
Sing-Sing. because Satan was supposed to have a new job.

not at a prison, although i'm sure that would have been wildly entertaining.

this particular job was supposed to be far better than some others i've had...such as convenience store clerk, poorly-paid law office gopher, and more recently, Being Unemployed slash Being a Stripper.

my issue wasn't with starting a new job...it was the environment. i would have been working in corporate hell. corporate, to me, definitely equals Sing-Sing, if only in my mind. the reality may be wildly different, but every time i get this horrifying cubicle vision....

part of this erstwhile job was meeting and schmoozing government officials. (why my former boss thought i could do this is beyond me.)

anyway, loooonnnng story short, i ended up getting fired over a nose ring. 
a nose ring?  yes, evidently the NOLA sheriff's department thinks that people with nose rings are degenerate rebels that they don't want anywhere near their paperwork, even if i was employed by someone else.  "we don't want rebels handling our paperwork."  (direct quote, y'all.)
so yeah. 

anyway, the Sing-Sing part isn't going anywhere, i'm just sorta stuck with it.  and hey, i like alliteration.

so welcome to Sing-Sing, oh newbie Minion. 
nice to see ya.