Welcome to Hell

Welcome to hell. Please take a number. Her Evilness will be with you when she damn well feels like it.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

thanksgiving: still one of my favorite holidays, in spite of ambushing my birthday weekend, year after year.

this song has been stuuuuuuuuuck in my head, in the good way, all weekend:
click. it's good for you. i promise. (it's animal collective).

so, today is my birthday, and that's pretty awesome.
[insert Happy Birthday to Meeeeee!!! Dance here]
tonight i'm going out with the Matt to one of those fancy restaurants what makes him wear a suit, and me a dress. no doubt, pictures will follow, just not now.

but i DO have plenty of pictures to show you, my little minions.

because i got a new camera. it's my "happy birthday to me" present. i am in love.

we also went for a few days to my mom's house, over mississippi and through the alabama.
matt's mom also joined us (US being me, Matt, my mom, his mom, CJ (mom's husband, so my stepdad, although they didn't marry until i was in college) and my brother, Logan).
(Matt, Matt's mom, mom, in that order from left)

we had delicious food courtesy of the moms
(that would be a homemade potato roll, mashed potatoes, turkey and gravy open-face sandwich there, made by moi) and we also had homemade birthday chocolate cheesecake - something my mom and i have been doing for a whiiiillle. well, she's been doing it for a while; i can't cook very well, so i did a lot of stirring and hovering.
but i did get the recipe, and i hope to be able to recreate this deliciousness.
notice also i've put some purple and pink into my hair, and gotten it back to its customary red. yeah, it looks a lot better this way. later on, better hair pictures to follow, because the pink and purple are pretty awesome.

so, on to presents...

my mom got me a sweater, which in NO way actually fit me, but it did fit her:
she is not much of a shopping person. her buying for me always tends toward fuzzy, be that sweater, sleeping pants, or socks.

the Matt did much better. he decided to populate our patio with a rocking bench, and a rockin' orange tree! see how cute?
pretty sweet.
this is the view from our kitchen.

also within the category of "presents" was visiting with Mirror, my best friend from high school who regularly gives me weird presents for no reason.
today, evidently, was photo-ninja day for her.
she hates pictures by digital camera. (no, i don't know why they're different from film, care to enlighten us, darling?)

one of my best friends from middle school who is in Korea currently, sent me this:
who knew Korean won was frickin' gorgeous?
well, now i know. thanks, Angel! : ]

gratuitous picture of the Matt and i:
i am playing with the "color select" settings on my camera, if you can't tell. to be honest, i still don't have the hang of digital cameras. i'm definitely a film camera kind of girl.

also, on our way back yesterday, we stopped at my favorite daiquiri place EVER in Slidell (picture that said with an accent like "Slaaahhhdelll, Looosiiianna" for full effect). they do Eggnog Daiquiris and they are SOOOO DAMN GOOOD!!! made with real cream and all.
this is how much i love them:
i love them so much i draw hearts on them. that much.
i always get a huge one. (the vitamin waters bottle is for size scale. also because i love that shit.) they also sell them by the gallon, so i'm seriously considering cleaning out my freezer in order to store delicious eggnoggy goodness.

so yeah, now i'm off to get all fancy for dinner.

i leave you with this knowledge of my dorkiness. i went to the harry potter 7: part 1 premiere, the midnight showing of course, AND i dressed up.
as hermione.

oh, yeah.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Story Comes To Town: Hijinks Ensue

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Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Story is in town!
i dropped her a line months ago about how it would be awesome to see her if she ever came around this way, and LO AND BEHOLD i am obviously a magic Satan, because she is here.
happy dance!
go read and subscribe. Her Blog is Here.

you will not regret it.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Breaking News Here First!

i tell you guys first, because i love ya.

remember "Bag of Hammers" girl? Remember This Job?

guess who caught Bag of Hammers jerking off some customer in VIP the other night?

well no, not me, actually.
i know, i'm soooo disappointed.

but one of my friends caught her, and that's almost as awesome.

see, i hate this girl. i hate her to an almost-irrational extent. but it's not quite irrational.

see, this girl used to be my "manager." and despite being stupider than shit, she was *supposed* to be scheduling us. of course, she failed utterly at that. and she was fired eventually, before i was, which pleased me to no end.

but that's not why i hate her.

i hate her because she is younger than me but has an attitude problem. i hate her because she treated me like shit at that other job. she told me things like, "your hair looks like shit" and "your clothes are too baggy, you need to wear tighter clothing" and "don't even bother, because you'll be gone soon enough."

she stomped on my foot hard enough to bruise it for a week one night, and she did it twice in a row, which made me think it was deliberate. this bitch did everything one can possibly do to make me want to quit - and i don't scare or intimidate easily. she never intimidated me; she pissed me the fuck off.
and i bit my tongue, because i needed the money, and i figured it just when she was fired.

so yes, it was gratifying to see her on my turf - until i realized that i had to be in the same room with her. and she is a mean hustler. she will play every dirty trick in the book. still, she was getting rather more business than she had any right to get - and we all wondered why.

until SJ caught her turning tricks in VIP.

see, now we know. and now, the manager knows, and the house mom knows, and it's only a matter of time before she is OUT OF THERE.
it doesn't get much more damning than an eye-witness for someone doing illegal shit in VIP. that sort of thing managers take seriously, since it can get a club shut down.

so yeah. i am counting days when i don't ever have to see that bitch again!

if she wants to beat off old men in VIP, then let her do it at one of the scuzzy clubs down the street. and i won't have to bother pretending that i don't want to beat her in the head with a stripper heel!
and everybody will win.

NaNoWriMo updates


Brutal, Callous Honesty.

I’m known for it. And I don’t mean in the good way. I mean in the “Yes dear, you do look fat in that dress,” way. Some people like it, but I imagine it’s not a great friend-winning personality flaw.

Still, some people do tend to like me. Like Matt. I have no idea why he decided to have anything to do with me. I basically met him, and gave him all the honesty up front. We started out by meeting for drinks at a bar. Now, most people will dress up for a date – I went to this rendezvous in jeans, a baggy black hoodie, and absolutely no make-up. Hell, it’s how I usually look – why pretend any differently? We chatted back and forth, laid out the bare-bones details, and then I let fly with a little spiel that probably went something like this:

“Well, I’m not really looking to date anyone right now, so I’m pretty much on ‘friends-with-benefits’ level. I work full-time and I like space. Oh, and I’m definitely going to fuck other people. If that’s a problem, you probably don’t want to come anywhere near me.”

Somehow, Matt decided that he liked me, and although he did make me call him (he refuses to call a girl first on the “I want her to like me enough to call” basis, I call shenanigans on this particular viewpoint.), we did go out again. Well, we didn’t really go out. We just hung out at his house, smoked hookah, watched a movie, and fucked each other’s brains out. Not much “out” involved.

Somewhere early on in our “not-a-relationship” stage, I blurted out something that I STILL can’t live down. In my defense, I was drunk. And so was Matt. We were staying at my house, lying in bed, and very close to being asleep.

I said something humorous to him (can’t remember what, see: drunk) which evidently amused him, and he responded with “I like you.”

Most people would think that was cute, or romantic or something. They might even choose to reply in kind.

Me? Nah. I wasn’t looking for anything cute or romantic. So I merely said,
“Yeah… that could be a problem.”

And fell sound asleep.

...i know, i'm such a winner. he's very lucky to have me...

Sunday, November 7, 2010

wherein i admit to sucking at NaNoWriMo

so far, 4905 words. i should be at, say, 12,000. roughly. erg.

so, procrastination! i'm good at that. this blog will be in pictures, pretty much.

what happens when a home-brewed beer that is sitting on your bookshelf EXPLODES due to too much carbonation...

the offending beer in question

...which is why my living room looks like this... yes, each and every book is sticky with beer.

all for now, since matt needs to suck ALLL the bandwidth by uploading crap to the interwebs.