Welcome to Hell

Welcome to hell. Please take a number. Her Evilness will be with you when she damn well feels like it.

Friday, September 30, 2011


blame Tazer Warrior Princess.  if she hadn't done THIS, then this video might not exist.

i really, really love sporks.

Monday, September 26, 2011

i'm infecting you with this, just as i was infected.

well, in recent news, i have a new girlfriend.  she is quite adorable, but i don't know if i can post pictures yet. i'll let you know.  ^_^

my new girlfriend Sarah and i went drinking with my dad... and i found out something i REALLY wish i'd known before. the place where we go that serves the frozen margaritas that i love, for 2 for $5 at happy hour...
yeah. evidently, there's two shots in each frozen margarita. so 3 margaritas evidently = 6 shots of tequila. well, that explains why i came home totally plastered after 4 margaritas that one time.

this time, it was 3 margaritas.  and then we went to another bar.  i put 2 nice big glasses of wine on top of that...
suffice to say, there was definitely some drunk going on that night.

Sarah recently infected me with this song.

i can't get it out of my head to save my fucking life, and it's been a week.  so i'm sharing, because i love y'all so much.

somehow, on our incredibly drunken night,
"can't hug every cat"
turned into
"can't hug every Matt, but i can hug this Matt!"
which turned into
"can't fuck every Matt, but i can fuck this Matt!"

but you know what?

"i just had sex!"

Monday, September 19, 2011

i had waaayyyyy too much fun with this one.

somehow i managed to record all this without being laughed out of my living room. thankfully, everyone around here sleeps like the dead.

do you think there's rap classes out there that you can take? i think my problem is that i forget all the damn words...

record labels, feel free to pick me up any time!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

there's no excuse for us

i don't know if you can hear it in the background, but the hookah Anthony's smoking bubbles just like a bong.  but you may not hear that, over the ridiculous app's electronic bong-noise.


my house has been taken over! help, i'm being held hostage!

...by the clutter.

our little house seemed a bit small when only Matt and i were sharing it.
oh, how naive we were.

when you have a 2 bedroom house with four people living in it, things get wonky, quickly...

hope y'all enjoy the house tour. yeah, i know my house still looks like i'm a college student. (i swear, i do know how to decorate a house; hell, my dad's an antiques dealer.)
in my world, funny and weird always wins over tasteful.

i can't wait until we move to Austin. i will get a huge 4 - 5 bedroom house, if it kills me. with a garage, for all of the Matt's beer stuff & the photobooth business.

and for once, i am going to have a functional office!
of course, my idea of a functional office is a bit different.  i plan on covering all the walls with posters and ridiculous shit.  then i'm gonna dig out all my toys, and stick them EVERYWHERE. because there's no cure for writer's block better than playing with some stuffed animals, star wars figures, and barbies. duh.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

The Nooky Song

hmm. well, someone got laid!

i don't really need to add anything to this, huh???

my. life. ROCKS!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

while the others are evacuating, i've got my feet propped up while drinking my beer.

look, i know everyone's all nervous now, ever since Katrina.  and there's good reason to be, if/when another hurricane rolls through here.

but y'all, this is a tropical depression, jesus fuck!  seven years ago you would have been scoffing at it, just like every other fucking person on the gulf coast.  let's calm down a bit, shall we, NOLA?

the highway heading west is all backed up. seems like half the damn city's trying to leave... because of THIS:

ridiculous.  really, really ridiculous.

as an example, i contrast with this your average thunderstorm down here...

(at least watch until .45, to see/hear the lightning/thunder.)

my biggest problem in this tropical depression, storm, whatever?  i'm running out of beer.
quelle horreur!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

the duck fuck dance!!!

i... have no excuse for this.  well, except for the fact that it's 4:20something in the morning and we? are special, special people.  

Welcome To The Looney Bin!!!

now that we (me + Anthony + my brother + Matt) are all living here, you can probably expect shit like this from now on.

you're sooo welcome.