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Friday, October 29, 2010

satan-rage

i hate having things sprung upon me.

that's not to say that i don't like surprises, i do. good surprises, like presents and friends stopping by, and free dinners. what i don't like is shit like "oh hey, and tomorrow we're gonna go and volunteer to wash the asses of the incontinent" or something equivalently unpleasant.
i can suck up a lot of things, given advance warning, but let me tell you, if you spring it on me the day before, my reaction is gonna go a whole lot like this:


GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


like, for example, the Matt's oh-so-studiously-innocuous "hey i know you're kinda working a gig this weekend for us as a favor because my boss has voodoo fest tickets and doesn't want to do it, and oh yeah you're gonna have to do the hard part yourself even though i know you've never done it before, but don't worry, i will show you how before saturday" bit about, oh, thirty seconds ago before he skipped off to bed.

(note time on blog. this is me, trying to wind down to go to sleep, to then go to work tomorrow and attempt to make my side of the motherfucking rent before monday - NOT a good time to spring shit upon me that makes me truly fucking cagey.)

what enrages me the most, is that it's something that is able to be competently completed by someone else who knows what they are doing - and will in fact BE THERE - but they want me to learn RIGHTTHEFUCKNOW.

btw guys? right the fuck now, i am stressed the fuck out. i have a lot of shit going on. i work 5 or 6 days a week compared to your 1 or 2 or 3, depending on how busy your weekend is. i don't have 4 week days to sit around and accomplish things. hell, sometimes i can't find time to do my goddamn laundry.

and hey, this involves electronics. know how bad i am at anything techie?
i still have anxiety about my own computer working correctly - setting up all the speakers/external hard drive/etc. know why i still don't have all my shit transferred over to my new computer? yeah. tech anxiety.

much less plugging fourteen different things with cords into a strange computer which all have to be inserted in a specific order lest they FUCK UP and make your life a LIVING HELL by working improperly and causing me to be on the phone and stressed all goddamn night while simultaneously trying to be nice to royal idiots at a wedding - blargh, see where i'm going with this? i hate technology, i really do. it stresses me out at the best of times. hell, i am still figuring blogger out.

(btw...this is a photobooth gig. sounds easy. probably is if you know what you are doing. i most emphatically DO NOT.)

laugh, but i have performance anxiety for shit like this.

i can get naked on stage all night long, i can perform any sort of vocals with music or a cappella, i can do theater improv, i can do all kinds of things that make other people have nervous breakdowns without thinking twice.

anything involving technology makes me sweat bullets.

thank you, the Matt, for inducing tonight's anxiety-ridden insomnia.
because, you know, that's totally gonna improve my mood for working tomorrow. after having the most pathetic shift EVER today. (a record $7 dollars was tipped to me on stage today... that's not counting off stage, but lemmetellyou, it didn't get much better than that.)

#boyfriendFAIL

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

2 comments:

Sara said...

Ugh, last minute things are the worst. Like when your boyfriend is all, "Hey, by the way, weren't you supposed to give me a blow job tonight?" right when you lay your head down on the pillow, thanking God that it's FINALLY sleep time.

andygirl said...

oh honey, I hear ya! I can handle just about anything with notice. but don't spring shit on me. makes me stabby.

and I may work from home now (living the dream, friends), but my last job was an insane amount of hours and events and travel. sometimes I'd just beg for an afternoon free to do laundry. or sit still. I hear ya. it can make you insane.