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Welcome to hell. Please take a number. Her Evilness will be with you when she damn well feels like it.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

shoe fetish. i haz one.

oh yes, i do.

this here would be the converse collection, all of which has been garnered at goodwil over the years. i <3 goodwill, so much.

my obsession with doc martins started in high school; here you see the original shiny patent leather black docs i got at a thrift store, and also my other two patent docs;

this is what happens when you A. have an obsession, B. get invited to a DOC MARTINS WAREHOUSE SALE that (gives away) sells new docs for $30 a pop.
yep, patent leather docs in all colors.

also, a goodwill find:

yes, shiny purple suede docs. you are welcome.

the high heel section. minus a few interesting examples:

stripper heels are always the best. yes, you are seeing that correctly, they aren't connected between the ball & heel of the foot. no, i've never seen anything like them again. they are made of wood, and need repairs, as i destroyed them dancing.
also, more dancer shoes:

well, one pair anyway.
btw, for no reason whatsoever, here is a small tutorial on how to tell if a girl has ever used her stripper shoes to actually be a stripper. here's proof:

the worn spots/superglued-on sole of the shoe is proof that a girl has used her stripper shoes in the approved manner, ie, dragging herself backwards and doing that ass-shaking thing strippers do, with her platforms holding most of her weight.
either that, or pictures like this:

notice the regulation stripper tie-shorties...sorry it's blurry. (taken at night, no flash...)

this picture makes my ass look so much bigger than it really is, which amuses me.

(yes, that's really me. any other stupid FAQ's?)

of course, you can also have the stripper dominatrix boot, very popular with a select audience:

most of them being masochists.

or these, which an ex gave to me, because he knew out of all people, i would appreciate the sarcastic/ironic/ugliness quotient of these boots, and wear them anyway. i definitely did. they would have been made awesomer, if they they were made of the real deal, vs. plastic snakeskin/microsuede.
only issue was, they were highly uncomfortable - and also hot. but I WORE THEM, A. i did it just for you. <3

because sometimes, birkenstock puts out clogs so goddamn ugly, that eventually they get reduced to $8 at nordstrom rack, and i wander in and am all like "OMG SHEEPY SHOES WITH SHEPHERDS, i'm gonna hug 'em and kiss 'em and squeeze 'em and love them... comfy!!!" yep. just like that. only with "wearing them out of the store" powers included, while people stare at me like i'm the maniac. puh-leeze.

oldest pair of converse, the only pair bought new, and look what i've done to them over the years: spiderman shoelaces, doodling... well, to be frank, i've had them since high school and i'll NEVER LET THEM DIE... never.
AAAND the coolest roller skates ever, given to me by a friend. we found them (and fought over them...she kinda won) at an antique store somewhere.

now, quick, to sleep before the sun comes up...and i sober up... and also, before i have to actually go to work. thank the gods they caffeinate us for free.


Sara said...

Exciting to find another Louisiana blogger even if you are WAY on the other side of Louisiana. : )

I like your blog!

Satan said...

excellent, i am recruiting people who read this stuff, i win!
: ]


bitethebedbugs said...

Are you by chance an 8.5? I may have some shoes for you. Write me back hot mama.

Satan said...

aww dangit, 7 or 7.5 more like!