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Saturday, October 16, 2010

hello, stripper mojo! i see we're back.

i've had a great week at the strip club so far, it's been really outstanding. i've made decent (if not excellent) money all week, and i've had encounters with very few Douchebags, and a whole lot of great customers. so much awesomeness.

i read a ton of blogs - among them, blogs of fellow strippers. strangely enough, it helps me gear into the right mindset to go to work, instead of, say, making me very tired of all things strip-club related.
so this one lady i read, Ava Adore, has a great thing - a DSM of all the various types of Douchebags that come into strip clubs. i think this is a fantastic idea - but instead, since i've had a great week (and presumably, it'll continue!), i'm going to do a post of all the awesome types of customers i've had this week.

The Shockingly Stoked Straight Girl
she says she's straight, and she came with her boyfriend. yet she's the one who's pulling him up to the stage, and pushing dollars into his shirt so you can retrieve them with your boobies. add persistent drunken "omg you're sooooo beautiful!" comments, and this girl can make a day shift - by buying lapdances for her friends, or herself.
thank you, straight girl! : ]

The Merry Married Couple
they're married, they're at the tip rail, and they're having a blast. the lady is smiling, and when one spouse leaves the table, the other is shoving money at you under the table to get the other a dance.
they say the couple that plays together stays together, and they're right.
you guys kick ass.

The Group of Young People Who Tip
they're drunk on bourbon street, they're 20-somethings, and they understand the importance of Tipping The Stripper. unlike their asshole redneck/fratboy/Douchebag brethren, they Get It - and they are having a blast. and hey, so am i, cuz someone just threw a $20 onstage!

The Older Gentleman What Wants A Lapdance
i have this thing, where after i've sat with someone for a minute and made the obligatory introductions, i ask them what they've come in for. ("so, you here for the titties, the sports, or the beer? what's your favorite thing to do here?")
this guy has come in for the girls, wants a dance or two (or five...), and after some nice intellectual conversation, takes you back for the aforementioned lapdances. and when he's done, he leaves. no time wasted, and all is fun.

The Decorators
they come in to drink, and to hand me money. they're semi-regulars. they won't go tip you while you're on stage, and they won't buy dances - but they will hand you $10s, $20s, or $50s while they sit and drink. and they'll also get you reeeallly drunk, if you're into that sort of thing. they can make a really dead day shift into a fantastic shift, simply by being there.

i've run out of the stereotypes for now, but hey, at least there's this many of them in one week!

i'm pretty sure i win this week.
: ]


Sara said...

I think I would be closest to "the shockingly straight girl". And you would probably question my straightness. Because lap dances are fun. : )

Satan said...

hells yeah lap dances are fun!
to give, and get... ; ]

Andygirl said...


cool straight girl was me before I came out as queer. just sayin'.

Satan said...

i do know plenty of straight girls who like to be in strip clubs.
if, the entire time, you are a bit overly excited...
if you're straight, then so am i!
(which is to say, LIAR!)
: ]

alonewithcats said...

Feeling left out. Never been to a strip club. Can you make a new stereotype for me? STALKER CAT LADY BLOGGER? I don't know. Just a suggestion. You're the expert.

Satan said...

omg you should totally go to a strip club, at least once in your life!

i'd say, offhand, you'd be
SHYish LESBIGIRL with cats?
just a suggestion...

Unknown said...

Hahaha, I love this post!! I'll have to share it sometime soon. Glad you're having an awesome week, welcome back to the fold bby.