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Saturday, May 7, 2011

wherein i am not funny, but i AM awesome nonetheless. along with other Very Awesome folk.

i have gotten, and probably will continue for the rest of my life, to get a TON of flack for being a superhuge fan of the band Bright Eyes.  i can't even remotely begin to relate to people how much i don't give a motherfucking flying fuck about their opinion about the bands i choose to love - and this one, in particular.  (and do go give them a listen on youtube.  please.)

in fact:  one of my fav songs & videos, here:

i don't mean to be all adolescent-y and stupid here, but i'm serious - if there was a band that has literally saved my life, this is it.  and the beauty of it all is that Conor Oberst, a founding member of said band, is only 4 years older than me - so the same time he was singing about high school, & college angst (and recording it, of course) - i was in those very time periods.  and as i continue to grow into being an adult (ahahahhaha!!!!), so does the music that this band puts out.  which rocks.

of course, it's not for everyone.  no band is for everyone.  but this band is definitely for me.
(and i must be all asshole-y here, and claim that I WAS TOTALLY INTO THEM FAR BEFORE EVERYFUCKINGONE KNEW WHO THEY WERE.  mostly because it actually is true, in this case.)

there are no really specific reasons why this is coming up now, but also many, many unspecified reasons.

i have had a few very good friends that have shared my obsession with this band.  and we're still reasonably close.  but the person i'm about to talk about isn't one of those people, at least as far as i know.  she was more of a DeadHead than a Bright Eyes person, unless i'm mistaken. 

my friend Amy, she is/was a wonderful person.  she is also very dead.  dead at 22, in fact.  and that was fuck, a few years ago.  i feel awful for not knowing exactly when.
i remember.   it's december.  2008.  it's gotta be.  right after she graduated.

she had mesothelioma.  and she was the most positive, funny person - and she didn't really let anyone know just how bad it was.  not until she was dead, all of a sudden - i mean, within a year of us learning anything about her lungs, the tumor, mesothelioma - and we were completely taken aback.  my whole social scene. 

it rocked us all.  because, really, no one is supposed to die right after they graduate from college.  certainly not anyone you know.

we went to school at the same time, for the same degree:  B.A. in Creative Writing.

we all sat around after her memorial, talking about her.  someone mentioned maybe getting some of her tattoos - they were certainly distinctive, and also awesome.
the idea stuck with me.  i don't know at this point, if anyone else ever did copy any of her tattoos.

but i did this.
it's one stanza from one of her poems.

"This is what it comes down to:
you and me, whoever
you are, our arches planted
on the crust of the earth
the same thing rising through us."
- Amy Young

the quote is in my handwriting.
but the signature is in her handwriting. 

this thoroughly freaked out my tattoo artist.
i told her, if Amy could see all this, she would be laughing her ass off.  and she would be.

yes, those are my tears in the picture.
and i'm not even remotely ashamed.

Amy, we miss you.


Sara said...

I also really like this band, and that particular song is so pretty. :)

Your tattoo is so cool! What a great tribute!

Satan said...

thanks, love.
it's funny, people always ask about it, and i tell them what it is, and they always say "sorry," as if they shouldn't have asked.

for me, it's exactly why i have it. it keeps a dialogue going, about amy - and in this way, keeps her alive in a very real sense.

also i like spreading her poetry. : ]

PorkStar said...

Wow dude that made me tear up

So sorry to hear about your loss but your tattoo sure is going make her memory last.

Nice, nice post!