yeah, i'm late on crap like that.
i also just found out that the word
exists, and that is fucking awesome. much better than cock blocking.
this is also going to be a post where i sorta mope about not having a girlfriend.
see, i'm almost incapable of keeping one.
it never blows up (well, there was that one time, but it was a really long time ago and we're not bringing that up now, m'kay?)
it doesn't blow up, it just kinda fizzles out. or they realize that no, i'm really not going to leave my boyfriend once you get your cute paws on me. or something. i don't know.
maybe i'm just going after people that are not attracted to my type?
i do understand that dating poly folks is complicated and it's more work and communication than a normal relationship. i do understand that monogamous types justly don't want anything to do with me.
what i don't understand is that after all this time, i've been open and honest, i have a damn okcupid account (because it is fucking impossible to find ladies in the south, FOR REALS), i have met plenty of open, non-straight ladies that i liked and fucked -
why oh why can't i keep a girl around??
the reason i bring this up, is that i'm feeling the hetero privilege lately. my family is conveniently ignoring my other sides, and a lot of my friends do too, and it really fucking bothers me.
well that, and i'm solid enough in my relationship with matt, to seek all the things i really want out of relationships, and one of those things for me, is a girlfriend.
yeah, i want one. i want the estrogen in my life - and the way hot girly sex, and all the things that come with it. i want that kind of connection. i am feeling the lack.
i know a lot of people that i feel like i could really get along with, but alas they live 3,000 miles away and that is depressing to me.
y'all, i really miss the northwest/portland.
okay, sentimental/mopey Satan out!
ps, i am having THE WORST foot cramps tonight, i hope this is not related to my eating only (homemade) chocolate cheesecake today. for dinner.
also i got to bilk the club out of $20 dollars today because the manager didn't notice i did way more dances than i said, and that makes me really, really happy. yo.
like this kind of happy.