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Sunday, April 24, 2011

rat fink bastard motherfuckers

each and every single night, about 1am to 4am (also before, and after that, but specifically during those times), we've got these shithead crotch-rocket riding motherfuckers who go past our house, one street over (since our street is residential and has stop signs, otherwise i'm sure they'd be on our street), and they are loud.  really, really loud.

i've been trying to capture them on video with my camera for a month, but they're annoyingly absent when i could actually use their obnoxiousness for my devious purposes.

so here is a video via the youtubes, which will give you the general idea.  to get the full effect, turn your speakers all the way up.  this part is really important.



THEY ARE REALLY THIS LOUD.  with my doors closed.  in fact, they're that loud in my bedroom, where i do occasionally try to sleep.  i want to kill them.  and i'm pretty sure it's the same few people.  they must live nearby.  otherwise, why the same patch of road, every single fucking night?

imagine these motherfuckers going by your house, every single night, at a time when all normal people (read:  not me) are trying to sleep.  wouldn't it make you feel homicidal, too?  look, i know people who ride crotch-rockers are trying to feel badass or some shit, but is going by my house in first gear at like 40mph really necessary?

they make me want to spread thick patches of gravel across Claiborne (where they do this) in hopes that they will skid out and damage their bikes past repair.  stupid motherfuckers.  why not the highway?  why not on a fucking racetrack, where such behavior is acceptable, and in fact, encouraged?  is it really worth it to hold these "i'm manlier than you are" deafening races a block from my house??  REALLY??

as for those fucktards, i've only got one thing to say to you:


 (fucking awesome video too, amirite?)

i hope you get pulled over and get the worst speeding tickets ever.  and additional ones, for disturbing the peace..  i hope you skid out and murder your crappy-ass crotch-rocket. 
STOP GOING BY MY MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE!

PS, i'm pretty sure this is the entry where i've used "fuck" the most, hands down. 

5 comments:

J.R. LeMar said...

Dang, that's terrible. If it's every night, and they're out there from 1 to 4, you need to call the cops when they start, so they can be caught in the act. That has to be illegal.

Satan said...

while you are no doubt right, you clearly underestimate NOLA's cops ability to not give a holy flying fuck. : ]

oh look, here they come! i'm dead serious, i hear them right now.
fuckers!

Brandy Rose said...

That would piss me off! I'd be hunting them with a stick...to stick in their tires when they drove by.

PorkStar said...

Marbles and gravel is a good idea. I'd have the cops standing by there too.

I have yet to understand why they are into that nonsense, it's beyond ridiculous and childish. Not like throwing marbles as they pass by is childish, but an absolute payback and necessity.

Being evil and vindictive is a mature reaction.

La-Juice said...

Oh I feel your pain. there is an asshole in my building who rides a Ducati, and before he leaves everyday its 25 minutes of that mothra faulking thing idling under my window sending exhaust up into my house- NOT to mention the noise.

I can't tell you the number of times I have wished he'd end up totaling the thing in a very painful accident.