one of the good parts about working in a strip club is a lot of weird shit happens, every day, and people just roll with it.
i was at the club the other day, NOT working, hanging out with the DJ for no good reason (aka $2 beer draft), when i noticed a Very Weird Thing, on the lighting panel computer.
"Chris, is that... Does that say Dick Lights???"
"Yes, yes. That says Dick Lights."
"Um. What. The. Fuck. are Dick Lights???"
he explained to me that the Dick Lights are like all of the regular lights (which are weirdo shapes that swirl around on the wall, and are Very Annoying). Only they are in the shape of a cock and balls.
i cracked up laughing.
"WHY. WHY, do we not have these lights on the walls ALL THE TIME??? that is fucking brilliant."
"Well," Chris says, "it's because they don't work. Like, at all. They've never worked."
we paused for a moment, to let that sink in.
"So basically, we have Impotent Dick Lights," i said. "Our dicks don't work. At All."
"Yep," said Chris. "Impotent Dick Lights. We are a special breed, here."
i have to agree.