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Thursday, December 2, 2010

miscellanea, and why grandparents really suck sometimes.

today i got my pendant from CrazyLady!
i'm so excited. only i didn't have a chain, so i made it into a lonely earring. looks great! the picture is blurry, but hey, you try taking a picture of the side of your head in bad lighting.

she's selling great pendents, rings, and also earrings (in pairs, no less!) to help raise funds for one of her cats who is sick, so please, if you like jewelry, go check out CrazyLady's blog, or her Etsy page, and pick something out! Jete the cat will thank you.

so, my birthday dinner went great on sunday! check out how awesome this place was, even the food was cute:

plus, they actually knew how to make a mint julep, unlike so many other supposedly top notch restaurants and bars... (i'm nodding in your direction, Pacific Northwest. you know it.)

For The Record, this is how you make a mint julep:

1 shot bourbon, equal amounts simple syrup, mint, and water. not club soda, water. and for the love of all that is holy, no fucking lemon should be muddled into a julep! it's gross, plus, a julep is a traditionally sweet drink.
y'all, i come from kentucky; i know how this is supposed to work.

this is a very simple recipe, but somehow people fuck it up all the time. especially with the lemon. blegh.

it's my signature drink pretty much (if i'm not drinking bourbon or scotch straight up, that is) so it really irks me. so, a small tutorial, for the public, because hey, this is important. a good mint julep should almost taste like mint tea.

put ice, and mint into mixing cup. mash liberally. add bourbon and simple syrup. shake, strain out the squished mint, add water to taste, and garnish with more mint.
THAT is a proper julep, and it is delicious, and easy.

i wore this,
and he wore this,
and dinner was freakin' great.

also, how cute is this card that Matt's mom gave me?

presents, presents everywhere, and all of them for me!!!
ahem, okay, enough birthday crap and back to regularly scheduled ridiculousness.

so, i am weird, and i know i'm weird but sometimes i don't realize it until halfway through an action so bizarre that it gives even me pause.
for example. i'm reading this book, mostly because i flipped through it at the store, decided some of her theories are way off base as a generalization, and i decided to get the book in order to read it, then send her a letter and argue, basically, as a person who has been there as opposed to someone who is studying strippers. it's academic reading, so i haven't been racing through it, so it's been sitting by my bedside. it looks like this:

so, i was eating fruit snacks the other night, in bed.
now this part needs a tad bit of explaining; i am odd about food when it comes in multiple flavors. i will tend to "organize" it and eat it according to flavors, from "worst" to favorite flavor, and yes, i realize this screams OCD. i don't care, i've been doing it since i was a child.
so, since i was in bed, i grabbed the nearest book to line my fruit snacks up by color. this particular brand of fruit snacks i was eating is a bit sticky, so after i ate them, i noticed that my book was sticky, so me being the lazy and gross human being i am, i started licking the sticky residue off my book. it wasn't until about halfway through getting the sticky off my book that i realized i was literally licking this book woman's crotch free of sticky candy.

only me.

in other news, i have been doing a lot of letter writing (if you are lucky and a good pen pal, you, too! can get letters from me... sexay, i know) and i thought i would grace y'all with a picture of my old typewriter. no electric for me, i'm not playing around. this little guy is from the forties, and is appropriately cantankerous. the letter there is headed for Angry Mandy, who is appropriately awesome.

and i got a card just today, that was not so awesome. this is where the "grandparents" part of my title comes in. i got a blah Hallmark whatever-it's-your-birthday generic card, and within, i found this:

if you can't read that it says,
“When are you going to get you a better job kid? Working in a bar is no job for someone with a college degree. Hope you can find a decent job. Join the Navy & you can travel the world & write & study & get paid all at the same time. Give it some thought kid. Love you.”

why thank you, sooo much. of course i want to go join the navy, and besides, i just love working a job that doesn't let me use my intellect!

well, two can play that passive aggressive game, and i was working on sending out Solstice/Yule cards, so i sent them this in their card:
"Thanks for the birthday wishes, but I'd rather chew off my own foot than join the Navy; I'm not good with following orders. I think I'll keep my bar job. Happy Holidays!"

jeez, now what sort of wishes should i be expecting in my Xmas card from the Grans?


Sara said...

I LOLed at the licking the sticky off the book. That's the kind of thing I would do and never tell anyone. :)

And WTF? The Navy? Um, HELL NO. My parents suggested the military to me once, and I laughed for about three hours in their face. Who the fuck thinks I could handle being screamed at and not being able to say anything in response? Pass!

Satan said...

heh, i usually would not be all ::poke, poke, hey matt lookee what i did!:: but in the interest of humor, i'll pretty much make fun of myself regularly here.
(it's what i dooo)

yes, exactly! i'd be screaming back at the drill sergeant and getting kicked out for being untrainable or something. no, no, no. i have no idea what my grandparents were smoking, but if it's that good, i want some.

VerdeAlive said...

Just as an fyi from my Kentucky boyfriend- this is the REAL recipe for Mint Julep:

And trust me-it is way better than any simple syrup muddle mess I've ever had!

Satan said...

damn, but isn't it hard to get the sugar to melt that way? i'm gonna have to get you to make me one of those...
: ]

alonewithcats said...

So sweet of you to support Jete. That's one bitchin' earring.

P.S. Happy belated birthday!

Satan said...


Anonymous said...

Oddly enough I found your blog through Angry Office Manager by who the hell knows. Through either a suggestion or my habit of randomly searching phrases on Google you guys were found. Anyways, I digress...

I understand how you feel about a good mint julep. I too am very particular about my dirty (swampy) vodka martinis. I hate when they are made poorly, which is the case 95% of the time.

Satan said...

heh, that's an appropriate place to find me through.

welcome to the blog!!

and if getting your martini done right is anywhere near as hard as a good mint julep... sincerely, good luck!
or, just do it yourself, it's what i always end up doing. : ]