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Monday, April 4, 2011

if it's broke, well, we don't even know how to fix that.

one of the good parts about working in a strip club is a lot of weird shit happens, every day, and people just roll with it.

i was at the club the other day, NOT working, hanging out with the DJ for no good reason (aka $2 beer draft), when i noticed a Very Weird Thing, on the lighting panel computer.

"Chris, is that... Does that say Dick Lights???"
"Yes, yes.  That says Dick Lights."
"Um.  What. The. Fuck. are Dick Lights???"

he explained to me that the Dick Lights are like all of the regular lights (which are weirdo shapes that swirl around on the wall, and are Very Annoying).  Only they are in the shape of a cock and balls.

i cracked up laughing.
"WHY.  WHY, do we not have these lights on the walls ALL THE TIME???  that is fucking brilliant."
"Well," Chris says, "it's because they don't work.  Like, at all.  They've never worked."

we paused for a moment, to let that sink in.

"So basically, we have Impotent Dick Lights," i said.  "Our dicks don't work.  At All."

"Yep," said Chris.  "Impotent Dick Lights.  We are a special breed, here."

i have to agree.


Andygirl said...

you think impotent dick lights would be a detriment at a strip club.

J.R. LeMar said...

I assume that the other good part about working in a strip club is that you get to lots of bare boobs?

Satan said...

@andygirl, i am pretty sure the only thing that keeps the Impotent Dick Lights from scaring away customers, is that they aren't aware they exist in the first place.

@J.R. LeMar ... yes. boobs are about 50% of all strip club perks, in my oh so humble (snerk) opinion.

The Empress said...

That is incredibly, ironically funny. Too bad they can't get the lights to work so that they could be used to identify a patron that is acting like an asshat.

Satan said...

i know!! i was kinda hoping they were spotlights that we could put on douchebag customers.

but hey, impotent dicks are pretty awesome too!